Review - Monster Burger by D.M. Guay (24/7 Demon Mart #2)

Preamble

I previously read and loved The Graveyard Shift by D.M. Guay. I was very much looking forward to getting into this, as I laughed quite a bit at the first book in the 24/7 Demon Mart series. This did not disappoint.

A note about my reviews: I consider myself an appreciator, not a critic. I know first-hand what goes into the creation of art – the blood, the sweat, the tears, the risk. I also know that art appreciation is subjective and lernt good what mama tell’t me – if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. I’m not a school marm grading a spelling test – I’m a reader who enjoys reading. If a book is entertaining, well-written, and I get absorbed into it, five out of five. It’s either five stars or nothing these days – if I don’t like it, no review. Regardless, I wouldn’t even put a star rating system on my reviews but for the reality of storefronts like Amazon.

Take from that what you will.

Review – 5/5

If you’ve ever seen Return Of The Living Dead, the kind-of sequel to Night Of The Living Dead written and directed by Dan O’Bannon, based on a book written by John Russo, one of the co-writers of Night’s script, you’d probably get a kick out of Monster Burger. Aside from the movie having the best opening scene I think I might have seen in any movie, ever, Return Of The Living channels 1980s Americana, hilarious scenarios, excellent jokes, and plenty of zombies.

It didn’t really surprise me to learn through reading D.M. Guay’s notes at the end of the novel that her introduction to the zombie genre came in the form of Return Of The Living Dead. The 24/7 Demon Mart books are mythologically American, with a capital ‘A’. The whole shtick of the series is that it features a fat every-nerd named Lloyd, who somehow manages to bungle himself into saving the world by the end of every book (at least the two I’ve read). This time round, he’s helped along by an angelic magic eight-ball that reads his mind and a supervisor cockroach named Kevin is back for round two. The love of his life, the kick-ass Dee Dee, whose life he manages to save and ingratiate himself towards, is back and is looking past his self-described faults at all times. And maybe even towards loving him?

There are uncooperative heroes, and then there is Lloyd Lamb Wallace. He is such a schlub, it is painful at times to read. But he made a promise to God to get his stuff together. Too bad his mother is sure that he’s on drugs after showing up with mad scrilla after the events of the first book. And too bad he works right next to Monster Burger, the fast-food joint beloved by both Lloyd and Kevin.

I am an avowed buff of zombie fiction, and it was pretty exciting to see all of the references to zombie video games, old movies, new movies. This book is truly a love letter to a genre that is something all of its own. Whereas fare like The Walking Dead is serious business, this is pure horror comedy.

The jokes are funny, largely American culture based, and they come a mile a minute. I feel like Guay really stepped it up a notch with this book, and I loved The Graveyard Shift. The series has a bit of a picaresque feel, in that the plot is not really much beyond ‘save the day’ and it doesn’t really get going until the second half of the book, but I view that as a feature, not a bug. Sure, the eight ball talks about a Hero’s Journey but really, Lloyd doesn’t grow all that much, except to avoid taking a gift from his demonic boss that would have seen him lying to his mother (and to himself).

Self-deception is really the name of Lloyd’s game, which is common among nerds of all stripes. We tend to imagine ourselves lesser than what we are, we are fairly hard on ourselves, and sometimes we are lured by the easy way of burgers and fries and no exercise whilst playing Call of Duty with fellow nerd Big Dan.

I don’t expect Lloyd to grow significantly, as that is part of the charm of these books. It seems he’s not supposed to become the hero who steps perfectly in order to save the world. He’s the schlub like the rest of us, meandering and muddling his way through life, using his heart (or angelic magic eight ball) as a guide to doing what’s right.

And still he bones it up. So much of the plot could have been avoided if he had just read the employee’s handbook he’s been avoiding, or if his boss Kevin (yes, the roach is his supervisor) wasn’t such a dingus himself. But as much as he has to deal with homicidal defecating pixies or demonic plants or giant shrimp eating up the boner pill display and becoming ‘full body boners,’ he still manages to come through alright.

With a traditional hero, with a traditional saviour of the world, we would not have this story. And that would be a shame.

Check it out on the ‘zon here.