Review - Clusterfuck by Carlton Mellick III
Preamble
Carlton Mellick III has done it again, folks. We've got another wild ride through the Bizarro world with Clusterfuck, a pseudo sequel to Mellick's book Apeshit. If you thought Apeshit was a rollercoaster, just wait until you dive into this one. Buckle up, because this book is absolutely bonkers, but hey, that's what we're here for, right? So, without further ado, let's get into this.
A note about my reviews: You know the drill by now - I'm an appreciator, not a critic. I'm here for the fun, the absurdity, and the sheer joy of reading. If I'm entertained, then it's a job well done. So, you can trust that I'll be honest in my opinions, but also keep things light and, well, appreciative.
Review - 5/5
Clusterfuck follows the misguided adventures of a group of fraternity brothers, who, along with a trio of women, embark on an illegal caving expedition. The characters are caricatures of frat boys, with names like 'Extreme' Dean, Gravy the stoner, and the selfish Trent. Lance, the more intelligent of the bunch, gets dragged along for the ride, which features copious amounts of Natty Ice beer. The alcohol abuse in this story reminded me of my salad days as an undergraduate at university, but obviously, I never hit the extreme insanity of these frat brothers.
The inciting event for the carnage in Clusterfuck is, unsurprisingly, brought about by the exceedingly despicable Trent. In an apotheosis of selfish murderous douchebaggery, he ends up killing a bunch of the cult's children, to the extent that the undead can be killed (think the Black Knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail), which in turn causes the cult to seek bloody payback from the moronic frat boys. The tension and chaos that follows make for a thrilling, blood-soaked adventure.
The three women accompanying the frat boys on their ill-advised expedition are no mere damsels in distress. Selena, Marta, and Lauren all have their own intriguing backstories, including some bizarre adoption stories that add an extra layer of mystery to the narrative.
Marta, in particular, is a standout character. Teased mercilessly by the frat boys for her size and nicknamed Giant Gonzales after a professional wrestler, she proves to be an asset in the fight against the undead freaks. Even one of the frat brothers who initially taunts her ends up developing a sexual desire for her after she simulates raping him in a fit of rage triggered by his relentless teasing.
Mellick manages to pack this story with twists and turns that keep readers on the edge of their seats. From the revelation of Selena's true nature as a were-jaguar to the poetic justice served to the despicable Trent, Clusterfuck delivers on all fronts, providing a wildly entertaining, bizarre, and downright twisted read.
So, if you're a fan of Apeshit or just looking for a riveting, absurd, and delightfully macabre story, Clusterfuck is definitely worth checking out. Just make sure you've got a strong stomach and a penchant for the absurd - this one's not for the faint of heart.
Check it out on the 'zon here.