The Druid Trilogy
A Raunchy Inspirational Comedy
They’d probably call themselves antiheroes. But that would imply they know what the hell they are doing…
Rosmerta O’Ceallaigh really hopes making bread dildos and penis poultices won’t be her defining moment. Dreaming of becoming a lute-playing bard, she’s desperate to wriggle out of giving her body to her druid father’s pervy god. But when her home burns to the ground and she’s led through a magic portal, her only way out is a dodgy deal with a rebel goddess that usually ends in death.
If Gudleik Sigbjornsson could just stop screwing up, he’d leave town without a backward glance. Cursed by Loki, he stinks at his dream career of performing with the lyre and is instead stuck trying to prevent Ragnarok. But when he’s kidnapped by the Queen of the Underworld, he learns his jinx is a blessing in disguise that grants him the power to… make people feel very bad about themselves.
As Rosmerta battles the restrictions enforced on her signed-in-blood contract, she just might find her place center stage in the faery and goblin-filled world. And when Gudleik discovers his gift not only makes others depressed but also suicidal, he begins a descent into becoming insufferable.
Will these two bumbling heroes ever find their journey and halt the endless run of dirty jokes?
The Hammer Of The Gods: So You Want To Be A Star is the first book in the Druid Trilogy comedic fantasy series. If you like the air thick with blue humor, extremely quirky characters, and irreverently distorted legends, then you’ll love Andrew Marc Rowe’s hilarious adventure.
Buy The Hammer Of The Gods to embarrass even the fertility deities today!
(Now includes Top Man: The Epic Wager (A Prequel to The Druid Trilogy)
Every God Wants To Be Naked And Famous
Rosmerta O’Ceallaigh has finally figured out how to sing and play her lute like the most bad-arse of bards. But she’s about to learn the hard way that there is more to becoming a musician than simply strapping on her instrument and dropping tunes to a crowd. When a meteoric rise to fame sees the naïve young woman sign a questionable contract with an undead King Arthur, she has to learn to navigate all the pitfalls of a life in the limelight. What’s more, she’s harbouring a terrible secret – all she can play are covers of eighties tunes from centuries in the future.
When last we left Gudleik Sigbjornsson, he was paying the heaviest price possible for his arrogant abuse of Loki’s blessing. Rescued from certain death by his best friend Porsi, Gudleik has to navigate the gloryhole-ridden maze that is the city of Mimir’s Rest if he wants to become the skald he is destined to be. Eyja Randulfsson, Queen of the Underworld, is doing everything in her power to see him dead and buried. Having taken Loki’s advice and influence to the very limit, Gudleik starts to question whether or not the god of trickery is really on his side.
As Rosmerta finds allies and advocates to help her navigate the harsh realities of fame, she comes dangerously close to discovering one of the best-kept mysteries of original creation. And when Gudleik decides to start listening to his patron god of poetry, Bragi, he starts to see that the power of his own heart can set him free from even the most nefarious of circumstances.
Will our two heroes manage to survive their trials by filthy joke-laced fire?
All Knotted Up: The Price Of Fame is the second book in the Druid Trilogy comedic fantasy series. If you like the air thick with blue humor, extremely quirky characters, and irreverently distorted legends, then you’ll love Andrew Marc Rowe’s hilarious adventure.
Buy All Knotted Up to rock out with your [insert name of genitals here] out today!
Let’s Get Ready To Bumble!
Would you look at that: Rosmerta O’Ceallaigh has become a fully-competent bard, able to write her own original tunes and captivate a crowd like a regular Jizzy Gillespie. What’s more, her contract with King Arthur has been deemed null and void, thanks to the effects of the Interpantheon Collective’s upcoming Clash of the Gods™. Now she’s being asked to play the show of her career, a time-space continuum-spanning grudge match between all of the gods of creation. But interdimensional intrigue is small potatoes compared to what’s coming to her from the frozen wastes of Midgard: a peerless skald.
Gudleik Sigbjornsson has finally done it. He’s landed on the shores of Albion, ready to participate in whatever insanity the gods have cooked up for him. And it turns out that fame and fortune are on the menu, including a spot on the entertainment roster for the Clash of the Gods™. But Gudleik is left to wonder what it’s all worth when he finds himself sharing the recording studio with a captivating red-headed bard.
As Rosmerta is called upon to regale the crowds with her talents, she finds herself overcome with a strange sensation for a certain Norseman. And in between his own responsibilities to the gods, Gudleik is falling hard for Rosmerta.
Will our two heroes figure out how to navigate true love while the deities lay on a thick helping of perverted jokes?
The Flower Of Creation: Every Show Needs A Finale is the third book in the Druid Trilogy comedic fantasy series. If you like the air thick with blue humor, extremely quirky characters, and irreverently distorted legends, then you’ll love Andrew Marc Rowe’s hilarious adventure.
Buy The Flower Of Creation to play a ballad on a bread dildo speaker today!